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Yes, it is that time of year again. All around the world, thousands, if not millions, have chosen to take on the challenge of writing 50k a novel in thirty days. Yup, coffee shops should be doing a hell of a business this month as writers come out of their homes with the laptops in hand, participating in write-ins or just trying to punch out their 1669 words for that day.

I have joined that group this month. This is my third official NaNo participation. I say official as for the past couple of years i’ve also participated in Camp NaNo, so if you count that, this is my fifth novel i’m working on.

That’s right, i’ve got four first drafts of different novels already completed, one i’ve worked on a second draft while the others just take up space on my hard drive. I don’ think I even have my first one anymore. (It was a complete bust).

So, why am I wasting time on my blog? Well, first thing is i’ve already reached my word count for the day and passed the 10k marker. (WOOT!) Second, this has become my most challenging NaNo project so far. Challenging in the way that I have not been able to fully get into my story. In the past, with the momentum, the pep talks and the excitement of being in the NaNo community it was easy for me to just sit down and write away, to fully get absorbed into my noveling world. This year, I have yet to really get into what i’m writing about. I’m not sure why, but i do feel that i’m holding back, that i’m actually trying to prevent myself from getting into my character’s mind.

If any of you are a reader of my blog, you would have noticed a series i have on Alia Grey, well this novel is about her, about how she met her roommate Matt, and how the little sprite/cyber fae/spirit came into the world. I’ve been planing this novel for a while, the series on here a workshop to help me get into her mind. Maybe i felt too confident going in that as i started, things just didn’t seem to flow as they do with some of my chapters here. I’m struggling to make sure i stay with the pack, and don’t fall too far behind, but the magic isn’t there yet.

I have managed to write one spontaneous scene though and I am happy with that, it made me giggle when I wrote it, but everything else is off a bit. I had to do some last minute relocating, i’ve changed a few people’s names, some i’m still not satisfied with and i’m still struggling over what to call the overall Fairy/Spirit organization! I believe i’m beginning to trap myself in these small details, that they are weighing far too heavily on my mind and are starting to carry me down as I write.

There are other issues going on too. I’ve been stressed out a lot at work and I have a quilt that needs to be finished before December, not to mention a Wedding this weekend. As for workload this November, it has been one of the worst. However, I have taken one week off this year. One week to finish the quilt, as well as fully fling myself into my novel, if i can. It may not work but at least I will not have my day job scratching at my back.

I still have hope that I’ll write something decent out of all this, maybe at least get the fundamentals of the novel idea down on paper to rework and rewrite later.

I wish any other writers out there, taking on the challenge luck, despite my bad start, it is still one of the best ways to get the beginnings of a novel started, to get in the habit of writing every day and to learn how to finish a story.